The explanation aka aspiring to grey pubic hair

The explanation for everything good and everything bad that has ever happened to me:

"There's got to be more to life than this."

Seeing my friend play 20-year-old house records to drunk students. Two contradictory impulses. Deeper underground. Suburbs. Same result.

I was on my way back from the above party to the bar I work at to get my allotted free beer when I walked by a piano bar inside of which a local musician was singing Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman" and it was like, to use the most revealing and nonsensical phrase of my 1990s adolescence… "same difference".

Same difference. A nonsense. Phrase. That explains. (A) a lot. The "whatever" of the early 1990s, at least for me.

House music is Williamsburg, VA. House music is Salem, MA.

But there's worse.

(Indie is a luxury brand whose marketing strategy is an oppositional attitude towards the concept of luxury brands.)

House still gets props for being more advanced. As if the reality-dark 1980s still needed help defeating the denial-light 1970s. Sadly, it does. Bonnie and Delany? Not Sabbath? Check your Christgau.

Bollocks.

I'm getting old. Old is not being too tired. Old is not being too ugly. Old is simply having something better to do.

I am not Old as in suburbs. I am not Old as in "curse ye kids". Old is not being subject to whatever the major broadcast networks deem to be "worthy" television at 9pm on a Saturday night. Old is simply. Again. I have something better to do. Getting old, as opposed to being old: simply: two colons in a sentence, better make that three: there is something better for me to be doing right now, only I'm not sure what it is. Old is knowing what that thing is.

Fuck the cult of the body beautiful. I can't wait until I can afford: blue blazer, brass buttons. Grey suit. Three-piece. Fuck, it, anachronism, yes, pocket(;) watch. I can't wait to be an embarrassment. Because embarrassment usually means unaware of meaningless social clues and hierarchies. Go back in time; ask Plato; IPA or Saison, Kendrick or Kanye. Instead of, you know, real questions.

Old is perspective. The little techno record of 200 copy-press only changes the world if your world consists of 300 people.

I want something better to do.

Old is not not keeping up with new music. Old is not winning or losing depending on the quality of that music. Old is not the kids today shaking fist. Old is the person whose letting those kids believe that shaking fist equals moving air. Capitalism is kid; I hate capitalism. I am olding. And proud. You can't sell my shit 'cause I've already got it.