Only Normal People Want To Be Weird

And please quote me on that.

Because I am right.

I don't have any tattoos or a trendy haircut or anything.

I wish I could actually fit in, figure it all out.

Because I was born alienated. It's not an affectation.

There's a million prospective accountants running away from their fate and I am jealous.

Here I am, thirty-five years old, intelligent, no career prospects, no romantic prospects, no home-ownership prospects, no nothing-prospects, and instead of going to bed early, trying to do something, trying to be something, I am obsessing.

I had superlative SAT scores, a year's worth of AP college credits, time at CTY, everything, and yet, here I am, resume-less, degree-less, career-less, future-less, everything-less, trying to figure out why the chord change that occurs at around 1:35 in this track is a thousand levels above my intelligence.

And all I want is for you to be, just for a moment, obsessed too. I am alright with being alone, but not alright with being unique. I hope you get it, even in your solitude, a solitude that I hope is not as permanent as mine.


mistah charley, ph.d. said...

here's a story of a man whose life was transformed by neurotechnology


it's not completely clear that he's better off now

here's the so-called 'prayer of st francis' with the god talk removed - i think it improves it, to tell you the truth - the secret you seek is in there somewhere, i think - i could be wrong, though

My goal is to be an instrument of peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

I seek not so much to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in letting go of a smaller self that we are able to recognize our wider identity.

may the Creative Forces of the Universe smile in your general direction

:-p said...

Thank You.

I'm certainly not happy with being this self-obsessed.

"I seek not so much to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love."

I'll try and focus on this more.

Have you seen Rossellini's film Flowers Of St. Francis? It's really beautiful, you should check it out if you haven't.