6.10.2014

Taking A Break From Self-Pity

I'm more bored of it than you are, believe.

1) I've been thinking about Houllebecq again lately. Sadly, while most of the reviews I've read of him seem to mention his notoriety amongst the intelligentsia and the controversy he causes, well, nobody I've talked to in person in the last few years has actually read him, so. Yeah. I've been meaning to get my copy of Ben Jeffery's Zero book on him, but haven't yet (maybe I'll order along with Ghosts Of My Life when I have the cash). Until then, here's the best article I've come across so far. Mostly written for those who are familiar with the books, yet still comprehensible otherwise.

2) The article on Houllebecq mentions the quite-pertinent idea that no individual can live outside the historical circumstances in which he or she lives. It's important to keep this in mind when reading Richard Thomas on his idea of "No Concept Programming", which derides the post-ideological, catch-all nature of festival lineups. Perhaps the most important idea is that these varied lineups do reify capitalism's abstract concept of freedom-through-(consumer)-choice. So, in a sense, what seems to be post-idology is actually quite definable. It only seems different when the "products" are better.

I do think artists should be held responsible for their silence, especially in the avant-garde community, a world of people who know better but whose ties to the outdated narrative of Western art trap them into old models of subversion that, handily, are ripe for sponsorship (can anything actually be subversive if it doesn't subvert? I think the only way to actually be subversive is to find a way out of the supermarket completely, not to be a more "gourmet" product within it). There is no escaping history, true, but a better assessment of what has actually happened is in order. As long as we keep telling ourselves the same myths about the past, we'll never have the ability to change the future.

(Let's try this: what if Bohemia won and what we have now is the "victory" inherent in the last fifty or sixty years of development in popular music, broadly conceived? The article on Houllebecq makes it clear that a more "inclusive" version of the same world would not be better. Likewise, can we really argue that any art failed because it wasn't popular enough?)

I can't help but feel that corporate and state sponsorship is somewhat inevitable, even if it still should be resisted. In the same way that the state must both support "free enterprise" through subsidies (public works that facilitate commerce, bailouts, etc.) AND mitigate some of the damage done by these subsidies and their recipients through other subsidies (welfare, food stamps, health insurance, etc.), corporations dependent on aesthetic production, who exploit aesthetic production, must re-invest just enough of that money back into the production process in order to ensure that it can continue. It's not only because artists simply wouldn't make enough money otherwise: the demands of capitalism on the leisure time of the average punter must also make these festivals more alluring for those short on time and money but long on curiosity. Festivals are capital's solution to capital's problem.

(I can't help but think that, pathetically, Red Bull has done more good for electronic music than any other institution that has existed in the last fifteen years. But why?)

3) Oh do I have more to say? The last decent idea I've had recently: let's make a movie set in Nazi Germany in which nothing happens. Has it already been made? What's the point? I don't know, but it sounds intriguing.

6.08.2014

Back To That Empty Space

Life Lessons

First off, I feel like I have finally become certain about two facts:

1. DJing is fundamentally conservative. At THIS point in history. More: ok.
So back when electronic music was an emergent culture, DJing was playing "those" records, the "right" records, for "those people", the "right" people. It was about consolidating shards of metal into a sword. Ugh. And yet I can't consider a better metaphor right now. Suffice it to say, consolidating and activating a cultural idea. What is/was so exciting about it was the feeling that, on the one hand, the records that one was playing were challenging, both aesthetically, and, more importantly, culturally, socially, politically, and yet, people were dancing. The pleasure of one, a critique of another.

And yet now, when it's not culture, post-ideology, when music is good taste and not bad, there's only two possibilities: lose the floor or lose your soul.

I remember a decade ago. Walking into a nightclub in Washington DC. The DJ was playing banging, militant techno at 150bpm to an empty floor. Idiot. Yes. I mean, you know, build to it, right? Kiss first before fucking. But now I feel differently. Actually, I have for a while, but now I am damn sure. Because that idiot playing at 150bpm, who probably wasn't invited back next week, well, at least, at LEAST, he fucking believed. He believed. He did. And so he was able to, at least, say, yes, well, I'm playing the right records, it's just the people who are wrong. That's the attitude. Because. Well, I saw a friend play tonight. And he made the compromise, and it still failed.

He was building it, building all night long. NYC house classics. Good cuts, obvious cuts, yes, but good, and well-mixed. And then. He played an acid house record. A new one. Well, it came out last year. New enough. And it all went to hell. Not an especially abstract acid record. A banger. Cleared the floor. And he freaked out. Then Human League then Prince then De La Soul. And nothing worked. And he felt bad. And he shouldn't have. He set up that acid record perfectly. 99th percentile. First-class-ticket-to-Berlin-and-a-prime-slot-at-Berghain perfectly. And people walked. And so you have to say: fuck people. Seriously. The right record is the right record. It is. And if you don't get it, fuck you.

Acid house is almost thirty years old. THIRTY. You are out to hear a DJ spin house and you don't get it. It's on you. It's on you. Fuck it. Play that shit. I'll dance. Don't care if I'm the only one. Rather right and alone then wrong and surrounded.

2. I'm always just going to be the person who talks to "that person", not "that person". All the people I know who can DJ think I am a good DJ, but nobody else does. All the people I know who can write think I can too, but nobody else does. It's likely that I will be celibate for the remaining 40+ years of my life and graciously thanked by countless couples for my excellent relationship advice. And I have to learn how to not feel hurt. Because. The right record is the right record. It is. And if you don't get it, fuck you.

Love,
Love.

6.04.2014

I Love You

I love you.

I love you. Because.

You remind me of:

The reflections of streetlights

upon the leaves
of trees

indifferent to our cause.

5.02.2014

I miss this

I do.

I feel like I've corrupted this space somehow and I don't like coming back to it anymore.

Both writing about wanting to be a "real" writer and also ranting about the misery of my life in Providence with virtually no interesting insight has really made me ashamed of this place. Was it so bad, to just write a few half-decent and concise little essays every so often and then get a few links and even a few comments here and there?

What I miss, and this could be just as much a problem of changing methods of "content delivery" as anything else, is that I used to at least feel a part of some sort of discourse. It was never about trying to control, to be recognized, etc. I just wanted a seat at the table of ideas, even if it meant eating my dinner silently and listening.

Instead, I stupidly demanded more of a voice AND posted some of the most worthless, self-pitying crap of my life.

You should see what goes unpublished. I have 9,000 words of juvenile invective on just music alone!

I don't even know what I am doing to get page views anymore.

I can't even tell if what I am writing right now is part of the problem or part of the solution.

I'm lost. But not forever. I'll be back, but I'm not sure how yet. I need help. I need to do it myself. I need to be taught how to fish, but I might just steal your fucking fish and then plead hunger the next day.

This is not me signing off. Just trying to explain.

Love.

4.16.2014

Just Some Youtube Videos

Figured I'd title this so that no one ends up here under false expectations…






4.01.2014