I'm actually already feeling better. I'm tempted to take down yesterday's post. But.
Beyond the self-pity, though, I think there is something worthwhile about the incoherent rantings about: I really do think we are living in some of the most conformist times I have ever experienced. And I do feel lost between it all, because it's all the same; artists are just real estate agents vying for a different type of real estate.
I would feel self-important but I think what I'm getting at is it's the other way around. I don't get exactly why other people are so enamored of themselves. Not because I can do better, just because better has already been done.
Anyways, though, maybe I'll try and play the game just a little bit in the next year, if only to gain sufficient authority to convince others to stop playing towards building a new game. Or maybe I won't. One way or the other, the near-term goals: love, travel, and a comfortable place to lay my head.
(And yeah, fine, maybe time for a new career, or just some meaningful stability within the one I already have.)
PS Thanks for the birthday wishes. All the best to you and yours!