The Other Kind of B & B

I guess I have some readers and I am guessing some of you are here in New York so I am just going to throw this out there.

In general, I'm not looking to whine. I just want the world to be a better place.

And what would make my world a better place (dis-including the death of capitalism, the end of complacent bourgeois culture and having an apartment large enough for a cat to be happy in) is simple: a place I could go after work to get a good burger and two beers and not be fucking annoyed before, during or afterwards.

Given the expanse of Brooklyn, and the constant proliferation of "authentic" neighborhood bars, you would think that this would be an easy thing to find. But no, of course not.

What are the criteria?

1. The place should be on the 2/3/4/5 or A, C lines in Brooklyn not East of the Nostrand A/C stop.

2. The place should be usually not too full but not empty either. There should be two seats at the bar.

3. The clientele should not be too tilted towards any type of social group, including mine, whatever the fuck that is (seriously, I don't know).

4. The bar should offer a good, correctly-cooked burger that doesn't take itself too seriously.

5. The bar should have a few above average beers. At least Yuengling or Brooklyn Lager. Better and/or more esoteric beers are welcome but optional (I don't need an Orval or an Ayinger or anything like that with my burger).

6. Two beers and a burger with a generous tip should be less than $25. Less than $20 would be even better.

7. I should not have to order my fries separately.

Applebee's meets all of the above criteria. I don't want to go to Applebee's. But I am starting to think about it. Because I can name at least twenty well-reviewed places that can't even meet these basic standards, standards that are met all over the country every day. But, seemingly, not in Brooklyn.

Your ideas?

Don't say Dutch Boy, Franklin Park, Soda, Cornelius, Woodwork, Plan B, or any place in DUMBO. I have yet to explore the region between the Atlantic Ave subway complex and Grand Army Plaza (basically, Flatbush Avenue). Maybe there is something behind Atlantic towards Ft. Greene but not too far from the subway?


PS Anyone have any klew as to why there is so much space between paragraphs? I can't seem to fix. Thanks again.


David K Wayne said...

That little 'T' with a red 'x' on it - highlight all the text, click that, and then select your default font (f) and text size (Tt). To pull all the text together, click backspace (or return) until you have it aligned the way you want. That should do it.

:-p said...

Ah got it now.
Now that I've signed up to participate in those other blogs, you got any ideas for themes/subjects? Send me an email when you get a chance.

Anonymous said...

I scratch my noggin and recall that when I was back there, Manhattan -- E Side, I think? -- had that place "Jackson Hole" that everyone loved. Of course that was 17-18 years ago and I'm sure it's not even there and besides it wasn't in Brooklyn. And besides again, I never went to the Jackson Hole in Manhattan although I've skied at the one in WY.

Best burger I ever ate was at a place called The Homestead about 5 mi S of Hamilton MT. It was open for about 5 years. The burgers tasted like a good steak. There was burger-drippings juice all over the plate as well as on the big slabby plank fries. And it was something like $6.95 in the dinner plate size.

Easier to find good burgers here, we're not as politically correct, we have more cows (and therefore more dead ones) and Public Opinion doesn't Hate Beef around here. Though that's changing quickly, as my kvetch documented.

When Applebee's is your best choice, the choices aren't that great!

:-p said...

It's not that Applebees is the best choice in terms of pure taste. There are plenty of good burgers in NYC. It's more the challenge of finding a regular-ass bar for regular-ass people. There doesn't seem to be much between chains and over-wrought "neighborhood" bars for wealthy people. If I made 70k a year and thought nothing of dropping $40+ every time I just wanted to hang out somewhere besides my apartment and have something to eat and a few drinks, I'd be all set. I don't earn that much money, I don't think nothing of spending $40 on such a basic meal and I really don't feel especially relaxed hanging out with people who do.

:-p said...

Really, there are plenty of great burgers here but all the places listed as the "best" charge a minimum of $20 for that burger and may make you wait in line or you may have to get dressed up to go there and all in all, even if the burger is fantastic, its all too much of an event and a status thing for me to do on any sort of a regular basis, even if I had the money.